A Sinner Grieves Her Mother from Inside a Prayer Circle

By Lindsay Young

And here 

In this blessed, remembering room 

Its mouth full of blasphemy where my name should be 

And has always been, 

A circle of prayer closes in around me 

Hands lain on my shoulders 

My head My knees 

Hands not needing an owner 

Just a purpose. A vessel of still 

A touch that speaks to the beast  

Of grief for me. Speaks to me 

Saying: We know how to protect even the children we are

ashamed of 

There is no shame in your breaking. Cry hard and we will

cover you 

Forgiveness, an allusive grace we give to those we deem

worthy 

Today, you are worthy. Today, you are safe here 

Today, it does not matter the history of these hands 

How they have fumbled to press you out of you 

We know how grief can make a child out of anyone 

We will not turn our backs to hurting children 

Instead, we flock like knowing sheep 

Build a wall of praying hands. Whisper  

Scripture into the air around you 

Until your own breath becomes a quiet chorus 

Until our leaving means a reason to miss this 

Where the breaking of this circle  

For the first time,  

Is not coming up for air

But rather 

The absence of it.

---

Lindsay Young (she/they) is a poet from New York, residing in Richmond, Virginia. She competed at the 2018 Women of the World Poetry Slam and represented the city of New York as a member of The Nuyorican Poets Cafe's 2018 National Poetry Slam team, where she was crowned a 2018 NUPIC (National Underground Poetry Individual Competition) Co-Champion. She was a member of the 2019 Brooklyn Slam team and is the author of Salt to Taste, her debut book of poetry published in the Summer of 2019. They are a Winter Tangerine alumnus, a 2020 Watering Hole fellow, and their work has been published in The Mark Literary Review, The Offing Magazine, and elsewhere. Young currently works as a freelance poet and workshop facilitator and is getting her MSW from Columbia University.